Wuns upawn u tiem, THaer wuz u prfekt stuedent. Hee had finishd hiz last klas and wuz redee tue grajueaet frum kolej. Hee went tue THu skuel awfis and pikd up hiz grajueaeshun paket. Insied wuz u trudishunul blak grajueaeshun gown, u trudishunul blak grajueaeshun hat (kawld u "moertrboerd"), and sum instrukshunz THat eksplaend wut tue due at THu grajueaeshun saeremoenee.
Thu prfekt stuedent tried awn THu gown, THen tried awn THu hat, THen sat down tue reed THee instrukshunz.
Thee instrukshunz diskriebd wut trudishunulee hapenz at THu grajueaeshun saeremoenee. It eksplaend wen and waer THu grajue-ets shood meet. It eksplaend wut THae shood waer, wut THae shood sae, waer THae shood stand, and soe awn. It diskriebd how THu saeremoenee iz trudishunulee kunklueded. Thu chanselr uv THu yuenivrsitee wood giv u fienul speech. Hee wood end with THu wrdz: "Laedeez and Jentulmen, Ie now giv yue THu Klas uv 1997. Mae THae yuez THr edjuekaeshun foer THu good uv awl peepul." Wiel THee awdee-ens uplawdz, THu grajyue-ets shood waet 20 sekundz, THen showt, throe THr moertrboerdz up intue THee aer, and rush down tue meet THr frendz and famileez waeting in THee awdee-ens. Thu band wood THen stawrt plaeing.
Thu dae uv THu grajueaeshun kaem. Thu prfekt stuedent wuz awn staej with awl hiz klasmaets. Just az ekspekted, THu chanselr gaev hiz speech. Just az ekspekted, hee ended with THu wrdz: Laedeez and Jentulmen, Ie now giv yue THu Klas uv 1997. Mae THae yuez THr edjuekaeshun foer THu good uv awl peepul." Just az ekspekted, THee awdee-ens klapd. Then u stuedent in frunt trnd urownd and signuld hiz klasmaets. Hee held up fiev finggrz, THen foer, THen three, THen tue, THen wun, and with u treemendus showt THae awl thrue THr hats up intue THee aer and ran down tue THee awdee-ens az THu band stawrted tue plae. Awl, THat iz, eksept foer THu prfekt stuedent. Hee nue THat 20 sekundz wr not yet finishd. Thaer wr stil 15 sekundz reemaening. Hee kownted tue himself: 14, 13, 12, 11, 10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1, and THen with u showt hee thrue hiz hat up intue THee aer.
Noebodee hrd him showt. Noebodee saw him throe hiz hat up intue THee aer. Noebodee waeted foer him in THee awdee-ens.
Copyright 2007 Michael Laschober
St. Louis, MO